Thursday, September 22, 2005
death.
I feel dead, torturousely, ruthlessly murdered by my parents with their bare words. Nobody stops them neither do they help me solve them. u know why? their secret weapon have no DNAs. it's so irritating i just dunno why they make me suffer and have me make them suffer back. they are torturing themselves. they hate me talking BACK to them. i dun like it too. i must think so much give u stupid answers and when I think too deep. I realise things. like U DUN TRUST ME AT ALL. i might as well just runaway lead life my own way. I just dun haf the money. I terribly sound like i use u for money. aren't u hurt. i won't if u wud just give me life i want. what life do u give me. let me write down wat u said.
U. " Exams starting soon, so fast, u better start studying, when i'm overseas dun come home too late I'll check with kakak(my maid)."
ME. "Study in school can?"
U. " Can. as long as u study. sure."
" Dun go out everyday arh i tell you better come home."
ME. "BUT I WAS STUDYING!"
U. "dun lie to me, u sure chat one."
ME. "Do u want me to bring a camera there. record everything we do? if u want can."
U. "I WARN U ARH. BETTER NOT TALK BACK TO ME LIKE THAT."wahlau speechless fine larh. loser loser loser. it's damn irritatin THAT ALONE. simply doesn't show u trust. if u do fine. why can't u just entrust me to study with my friends. it's the environment for me. i have nth to say but from what i see. i must say education was real bad in your generation. i told u the reason why. i need someone to push me. U ASK ME WHY DO U NEED SOMEONE TO DO THAT. U LAZY BONE RIGHT. i said ya, i am. u said. DUN TALK BACK TO ME.
AGAIN. u make me feel so... so... so... clever yet guilty. i dunno wad to say about u. it's not i need to be motivated. I AM NOT THE STUDY MATERIAL. i probably tell u a hundred tyms of that. u will shot me with trillion bullets of words. i won't die. I'll die terribly. I HATE THIS FAMILY! I HATE IT LIKE HELL. even dad thought wad my mom thinks. he as well thought my friends were wrong, now he thinks so too that i will flunk my exam. IT'S UP TO YOU HOW U WANT LIFE UR WAY. i chose mine already. and i think i would just be roaming about aimlessly. i dun care anymore.but because u r my parents. i have to be a loser. i still have to say sorry. FINE!
the day was so beautiful yet ruined. thanks alooooot man.
AZH at 10:11 PM